Happy Birthday
Jyoshita

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JYOSHITA,

I honestly didn’t know what to do when I was thinking about your birthday. I didn’t just want to write you a note and send it on messages, I wanted something you can look back at whenever you want from wherever.

I don’t even know where to start this, and honestly the main question is how the hell did we even come here? But one thing I know is that I care about you so much, so much that I get frustrated that I can’t even express it, I can’t even show how much, I can’t even tell you because no words can even portray the feeling I have for you.

I understand that we are in a fucked up situation, but I am gonna put the situation aside and talk a bit about you.

No glaze btw, but holy shit bro, since we have gotten so close, I can’t tell you how different everything feels. Life genuinely feels lighter around you. It’s weird because before you, I never realized how much one person could change the atmosphere of someone else’s life. But somehow you did. Being around you feels like stepping out of reality for a bit, like the world gets quieter and softer and I can finally breathe properly.

And the craziest part is that it’s not even just the big moments. It’s the small things about you that stay in my head the most.

Like how whenever you sarcastically lie, you subconsciously touch your nose and somehow think I find it so cute. Or your hair, which I genuinely think is one of the prettiest things. Or your scent that stays in my head even after you leave. Or the way you care. The way you’ve become more expressive lately. The way you’re willing to do things with me even when the world would probably hate on us.

You make me feel wanted in a way that’s honestly unexplainable.

And I still remember the first time we made out. I remember realizing in that moment that your kisses felt different because they felt genuine. There was actual passion behind them, actual emotion, and I genuinely could not stop thinking about it after. Even now, every time I kiss you, it feels like time pauses for a second. Like somehow the world disappears and it’s just us existing in that moment.

I think that’s what scares me the most about you.

You became important to me without even realizing.

And maybe that’s why this is all so hard to explain. Because what I feel for you isn’t simple. It’s not just attraction, it’s not just attachment, it’s not just comfort. It’s like somehow you became intertwined with my thoughts without me noticing it. You became part of my peace.

And I think another thing I’ve realized is that no matter what happens, I always want to be there for you. Not just for the good moments, not just for the happy memories, but for every version of you. The stressed you, the overwhelmed you, the angry you, the quiet you, the overthinking-at-2am you. All of it.

I want to be the person you feel safe telling anything to. Literally anything. The person you never have to filter yourself around. Because one of the most beautiful things about human connection is finding someone who feels like peace instead of pressure, and somehow, with you, that’s what I want us to be.

I don’t just care about your happiness. I care about your mind, your heart, your fears, your thoughts, your little random stories, the things you think are stupid but still want to say anyway. I want all of it.

And maybe that sounds intense, but I think when someone genuinely matters to you, loving them becomes more than just wanting moments with them. You start wanting to protect their softness too.

I don’t know what the future looks like. I don’t know how life is going to play out for us. But I do know that meeting you changed something inside me, and I don’t think that change is ever leaving.

I genuinely hope this year gives you everything you deserve. More happiness, more peace, more love, more confidence, more moments where you feel truly understood.

And selfishly, I hope I still get to be part of those moments too. I love you so much.